is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
