Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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