so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
