if you like me you must not know who I am
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
