Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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