We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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