Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize