I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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