I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
