You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
