I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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