I'm drive I can fine osifer
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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