I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
