So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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