i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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