The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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