After last night, I could never be a politician.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
