I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
