4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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