My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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