i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
