weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
