We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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