A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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