Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
