Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
