Life is so much better after having sex.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
