so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
