I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
