I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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