is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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