Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
