I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
