just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
