Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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