i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
