My cat gives me a boner
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Houston, we have a blender
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
