I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
