So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
