she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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