Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
