the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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