But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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