You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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