Do you still have your period?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
