Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
