do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
