I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
