Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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