I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
