Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Operation Purity has been aborted
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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