saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
