Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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