I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
