I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize