Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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