these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
