I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
