your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
