That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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